Either God sent it or He allowed it

A dear friend sent this devotion to me last week.  I cannot in any way take credit for the words written here, but I will say that this is spot on with how I am feeling, what I am thinking, and how My Jesus is using me.

I kept saying "Amen" after every sentence she wrote!

I could not have said it any better so I am not going to even try.  He has a purpose in my life and for my life.  If God plans my circumstances then I have to trust He has a purpose.

Here is what was given to me.

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"He will sit like a refiner of silver, burning away the dross...refining them like gold and silver..."  Malachi 3:3 (NLT)

I wasn't happy with the turn of events in my life.  In fact, "not happy" didn't even begin to describe my emotional free fall.

Devastated.  Petrified.  Paralyzed.  Lost.  Angry.  Disbelief.  Even somewhat crazed.  Now those adjectives described me.

"Not me!"  I continually repeated.  Never in my wildest imagination would I have dreamed that my life could end up here.

During this time of near inconsolable anguish, my cousin sent wise and comforting words:  "Remember, either God sent it or He has allowed it."

Her words helped me understand God was in control and there had to be a reason behind this circumstance.                            

Either God sent it or He allowed it.

I found myself contemplating this phrase.  It made total sense.  Slowly, peace replaced anguish.  Acceptance replaced anger.  Submission replaced unbelief.  Could God be allowing these circumstances to change something in me?  Was God granting permission for me to go through this fire for a specific reason?

Malachi 3:3 is a picture of a silversmith purifying the precious metal.  God shared this word picture to let us know that He is the silversmith refining us; He's who burns away the dross, which is something that is base, trivial, or inferior.  In other words, not necessary or helpful.

Most of us would agree that life's trials can feel like a punishment.  Major disruptions seem like they're meant to make us miserable.  The truth is, God transforms us with each trial we experience.  He is removing the "dross" or imperfections from us.  Each time we survive a major ordeal we grow stronger, wiser, more prepared for the next challenge.  We are conquerors and overcomers with God's help.

Ordeals, hardships, distresses are permitted by God for our perfection.  Either He permits them or He plans them.  If God has intentionally laid out a troublesome path for us, He has a purpose.

But it's not always about us.  God might place pain, suffering or distraction on our path to teach others about His love, steadfastness, and mercies.  The way we react to stress reflects what we believe about God, and allows others to see His faithfulness.

Few of us are immune to desperate circumstances.  But sometimes they are the best way for God to perfect us.  He wants to display us as His showpiece to give the world hope.  We don't always feel good about God's higher ways.  They hurt.  They stretch.  I know.  I have felt the pain, the pull, the piercing agony.

However, if God plans my circumstances, then I have to trust He has a purpose.  I believe He sends "assignments" so we can show the world that He is worthy to trust and has good plans.  If I model confidence in Him, I'm announcing to the world, with my actions and attitude, our Great God knows exactly what He is doing with my life.

Nothing compares to knowing and trusting the Lord is in control...especially when everything around me feels unstable.  He won't permit or plan something difficult for us to walk through without having a greater purpose behind it.  One that will make us holier, more like Him, and shine His glory.  Our experience is not in vain!

"Holy Father, the anguish I feel when life slams me seems to be more that I can handle.  Give me strength to push on.  Remind me of Your peace and keep me focused on the truth that You have a greater plan and purpose.  In Jesus' Name, Amen."

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I keep repeating that this experience I am going through is NOT in vain.  It cannot be.  Jamey had purpose in his short 38 years, our relationship had purpose, our 379 days we spent as a married couple had purpose.  When speaking about this with my counselor, I told her I wish I could jump ahead about 6-8 months just so I would not have to go through this agony.  She reminded me that I needed to feel this, I would miss out on something big if I just jumped ahead 6-8 months. Although it is hard, she is right.  God is using me, using this experience, for His purpose.  Deep down, I know that.  But when the hurt is so bad, I have to remind myself of that daily, sometimes hourly, to make it through the day.

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