Real Talk

I cannot seem to think clearly these days.  My head is spinning and I feel so out of control.  Writing helps me clear my mind, so here we go....

Brenna's birthday is this week (Thursday).  I am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that her daddy is not here to share it with her.

Reality stinks.  Big time.

School starts next week (August 8th).  Another first that I am not ready for.

I have ZERO energy and my ability to focus at work is nonexistent.  I am mentally exhausted.

Flashbacks of  May 5th haunt me daily.

I thank God daily for friends and family that help me and Brenna every day.  I cannot imagine doing this alone.

I have so much on my mind that I have to write a list that includes, stop for lunch.

Each day gets harder, not easier.

I am a very very patient person, but not these days.  I feel like I will snap at any moment.  Beware!

I cannot help but think of football season coming up.  Oh how my love was an Alabama fan.  We were planning on attending the season opener with our friends, the Lawson's.  It hurts my soul that we will not be there.  Jamey LOVED the Crimson Tide.

A new friend who lost her husband a week before Jamey passed posted on Facebook the other day that she missed the little things like sitting in the passenger seat.  Oh how true that is.  Jamey drove us everywhere.  A true southern gentleman.  Opened my car door, pumped my gas, the list could go on and on.

I am currently reading a book a friend sent to me.  It is titled Flat Cats & Fried Chicken.  Love the name!!  It is written by Holly Chapa.  She lost her husband suddenly in 2005 and the book tells her story and her journey of faith.  It really blessed me this weekend!  Thanks, Christina!

I feel like the devil is attacking me.  Something that I read in the book I talked about above said it perfectly...."The only authority the devil has in your life is the authority that you give him.  If you're looking the enemy in the face, it's because you took your foot off his head."  Well said!!

I know God will bring me through this.  I know it.  I have to live these hard days to make it to the other side of grief.  I know it.  I don't like it, but I realize it is part of the journey.

I am continuing to praise Him in this storm.