Adoption Day!

Oh what an amazing day!!

When Jamey and I were engaged and talking about our future, we talked about Brenna.  One of the things we talked about was that I wanted to adopt her and make her officially, my girl!!  That was our plan!  It was something at the top of our list of things we needed to do once we got married.

Life was busy those 379 days we were married and had not gotten around to 'making it official'.  I became a mom really before we were married and certainly after the "I do's".  I fell in love with Brenna immediately upon meeting her.  How could you not!?!  This amazing girl brightens up any room she walks into.  She has such an amazing and kind heart.  She has gone through more in her 12 years than most have in a lifetime.  I remember one night Jamey and Brenna dropped me off at home and while they were pulling out of my driveway, Brenna said, "Daddy, I think I love Tippa!".  Jamey beamed telling me about that moment!

So precious!  She won my heart immediately.

Life dealt her a major blow at the age of eight when her first mom went to be with Jesus.  Then again at the age of 11 when Jesus came for Jamey.  How do you explain this to a child?  How do you assure her that she is going to be ok?  How do you comfort a child who has lost so much so young?   These are just a few of the many conversations we have had over the past nine months.  She asked many tough questions and required honest answers.

"What happens if you die?"
"Who will I live with?"
"Are you going to die?"

Children are blunt and say things without sugarcoating them like we tend to do as adults.  Of course she had these concerns and questions.  Of course she has these worries and anxiety.  How could these things not weigh heavy on her mind?  They weigh heavy on my mind daily.

Counseling has helped me so much in knowing how to answer these questions open and honestly and how to help a grieving child who feels so displaced and uncertain with what the future holds for her.  Children need to know they are loved and they are safe.  They need to have answers to those questions, as best as I can answer them.

There was never a single doubt in my mind that Brenna would stay with me after Jamey passed away. NOT.ONE.MINUTE did I ever consider anything differently.  God placed this child in my life for a reason and it is perfectly clear to me why.  Brenna would need a mother and I was to be that mom.

There were so so so many things that had to be done when Jamey died.  More than I ever realized. My list was L.O.N.G.  I assured Brenna over and over that she was going to stay with me.  I even asked her if that is what she wanted. She proudly said yes.  This was her home.

However, it wasn't until Brenna told the counselor that she was afraid that I would give her up, that I jumped through hoops to get the adoption moving faster than ever.  From my perspective, there was never any question that she would stay with me, so I allowed the courts to move at their pace without jumping in.  It never occurred to me that without it being 'official', Brenna would think I could give her up at any time.  I never ever saw that.  I have regrets about not stepping in sooner to get this done and relieving a stress she had and I didn't even realize.  Now, looking back, I can see how, in her little mind, this would be a worry, no matter how much reassurance and love I gave her.  There is something about 'making it official'.

But after I heard this from the counselor, I knew this needed to happen and happen quickly.  I immediately called my attorney and told him what Brenna said.  He got on the phone with the judge and plead our case. There is a lot that happened during this time that is too much to go into here, but just two weeks later, on December 9, 2013, my attorney called me at 7am suggesting we just show up and see if the judge will see us.  We were running up against the holidays and the court dockets were full with cases trying to get done before the Christmas break. We would leave it in God's hands to see if we could make this happen.

God came through!!!

Of course, He did!  He always does!

He allowed us to see the judge that morning without an appointment!  This is the same judge we saw when I was given guardianship over Brenna the week after Jamey passed.  This is also the same judge who lost her husband just couple of weeks before Jamey passed.  God placed us in front of someone who would have the compassion to hear our case and make it official.  Thank you, Jesus!  

And immediately, the weight was lifted off of Brenna's shoulders and I saw an immediate difference.  I saw a little more pep in her step.  I saw a smile like I had never seen before.  I saw relief in her eyes and I felt her hug me tighter than ever before.  What an amazing experience and difference!

Brenna was so excited to be apart of the process.  She told the counselor that the adoption made her heart burst that she was so happy!  She was happy the judge looked at her and asked if this is what she wanted. She was happy when the judge asked if she was happy.  She was happy she got to make the choice. Hearing all of this made my heart burst!!!

December 9th is a day we will always remember and celebrate!!!  I received this precious and most perfect frame for Christmas!  Brenna proudly wrote December 9, 2013 on the back so we will never forget the date!!  What a day to celebrate!

I posted the picture from Adoption Day on Facebook on December 9th and was blown away by the love of our family and friends.  At last count, this one picture had 584 'Likes" and 171 comments.  Crazy love I am given by you all daily!!

Thank you for loving on us so much!!!!