I'm exhausted.
I have been running full steam ahead for 4 months now. Not stopping to take care of me. My adrenaline has allowed me to keep moving even when I needed stop. I needed to keep on going. I had to keep going. My heart wasn't ready to face reality of our future without my love.
It still isn't.
But now, I need a break.
I need time to sleep when I want to, grieve when I want to, nap again when I want to, and just "be".
God allowed all the pieces to fall into place so I could get away and not worry about Brenna or responsibilities at home.
So, I'm at my happy place.
My prayer for this week is that my start healing will start here. I'm really not sure what that means or how it's done. But, I'm opening my heart to really listen to what He has to say to me.
I told Brenna I was going away for a week. I printed her schedule and went through all of her activities for the week. (By the way, her Nanny and Pappy are taking really good care of my girl.) For her to understand why I'm getting away, I told her it was my form of grief camp. She was able to 'get' that. And, in many, many ways it is grief camp, just the adult version.
I may need to find some cool crafts to do and bring home to her.
So, friends, I ask you to please pray for me this week as I seek to really listen to Him, start the healing process, and find some peace and comfort.
3 comments:
Every time I go to the beach I wonder how people can question the existence of God after they have experience the ocean. I hope you "find" what you need to while you are at your grief camp! Prayers for comfort and healing.
I'm so glad you are doing this. This morning Pastor Denny said, "We have to find comfort in the WHO and not the WHY". I pray that you find your comfort in HIM who is always with you and knows your heart and your pain. Love you! Praying for you!
I'm glad you are at your happy place. Sending love and prayers your way! And when you feel like it you need to light up my phone with some images! ;)
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