My week at the beach was simply amazing. I'm not sure I've ever been so lazy, and it was glorious!! I slept in, napped, and stayed up a little late before starting all over again. Many days I was even too lazy to go to the beach. I just stayed in my pj's, relaxed, and enjoyed the view.
Two friends decided to go with me and I am so glad they did. I think I would have been too lonely without them. They were really good to give me my space and understood the reason why I was there.
On Thursday, I needed a release. I decided to write a letter to Jamey to start the healing process. I actually got the idea from Brenna. Remember on Day 3 of her grief camp, she wrote a letter to Jamey and Michelle. They attached the letter to balloons and released them during the "Memorial Service". They watched the balloons with the letters attached as they started their journey to Heaven to be read.
I was not sure what I was going to write but wanted to at least try. When I sat down to write the letter, all I could do was cry. I could not get three words down without sobbing. I said I wanted a release, and I think I got it. I would write a few sentences and sob...
....and sob.
...and sob.
Eight pages later, I ended my letter.
I wrote many things about our 379 days together, how happy he made me, and how I do not understand why God took him from us so soon. I can not help but continue to ask the Lord, "WHY". But as I was writing, it gave me peace to know Jamey already knew all of these things. We always told each other how we felt, how happy we made each other, how much we loved each other, and on and on. He knew.
Every day, he knew.
And, Jamey already knows "why".
There was nothing in that letter that he has not heard himself. I am so thankful for that. It gives me such peace to know there was never a moment he did not know how much I loved him and I knew how much he loved me.
Never.
As I continued to write, it felt good. It felt like I was talking to him. I knew that this would not be the only letter I wrote to him, and I said that. I ended it with this was not "good-bye", but "see you later".
It was a good release and a starting place to heal.
So, I rolled up the letter, said a little prayer, and started putting it in the bottle. Then, I thought....
what if someone found the message in a bottle???
So, I unrolled the letter and wrote, "If found, I pray you have an amazing marriage as I did."
I included my email address so IF the letter was found, I could be notified. How cool would it be for someone to find the message in a bottle 20 years down the road and email me?!?!?!
My message in a bottle.....
I did not want to throw the bottle out to sea from where we were staying on the beach. I thought the tide would wash it back ashore, so we went to a nearby marina, SanRoc Cay. We walked out on the marina at sunset. We did not plan this, but as we were standing there, I realized this was 'our' time of the day. Jamey and I loved watching a beautiful sunset. It was perfect.
Then, I said a little prayer and threw the bottle. I had no idea where it would end up, but I just 'released'.
See!! Perfect time of day!
Such a peaceful site.
After we watched the bottle float, I shed a few tears, we left. I left with a feeling of peace and hoped this was my start to healing.
But, the story does not end there......
The next morning we pulled ourselves out of bed, packed the car, and started our drive home. We were about an hour or so outside of town when I checked my email.
MY MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE WAS FOUND!!!!
I screamed!!!!
I absolutely, in a million years, never dreamed my bottle would be found, much less this soon.
NEVER!
Isn't that crazy!
I received an email from a sweet lady named, Sue. She said she found my message in a bottle!
She said she was at her son's home on Ono Island in Orange Beach. She was walking down to his boat house to see how many shells had washed up overnight. She then saw a bottle that looked like it had a note in it. She climbed down in the water to retrieve it, broke the bottle open, read the letter, and prayed for someone named Tippa.
God led me to a sister in Christ. A sweet prayer warrior that we can never know too many of.
I 'friended' her on Facebook and saw this sweet post.
Later, Karen posted....
I am just in tears and overwhelmed by the outreach of prayers and notes I have received from this sweet, sweet family and their friends. I shared with Sue and Karen that I never dreamed anyone would find the letter, and certainly not this soon. Karen's response took my breath away. She said "God didn't want you to wait another minute to receive these messages and know others care about you and what you are going through."
So true.
I stand in awe of God's mercy and grace. I have been lifted up in prayer by so many friends and stranger-friends that have helped carry me. It leaves me speechless and amazed. What an amazing God we serve.
I was not sure what I was going to write but wanted to at least try. When I sat down to write the letter, all I could do was cry. I could not get three words down without sobbing. I said I wanted a release, and I think I got it. I would write a few sentences and sob...
....and sob.
...and sob.
Eight pages later, I ended my letter.
I wrote many things about our 379 days together, how happy he made me, and how I do not understand why God took him from us so soon. I can not help but continue to ask the Lord, "WHY". But as I was writing, it gave me peace to know Jamey already knew all of these things. We always told each other how we felt, how happy we made each other, how much we loved each other, and on and on. He knew.
Every day, he knew.
And, Jamey already knows "why".
There was nothing in that letter that he has not heard himself. I am so thankful for that. It gives me such peace to know there was never a moment he did not know how much I loved him and I knew how much he loved me.
Never.
As I continued to write, it felt good. It felt like I was talking to him. I knew that this would not be the only letter I wrote to him, and I said that. I ended it with this was not "good-bye", but "see you later".
It was a good release and a starting place to heal.
So, I rolled up the letter, said a little prayer, and started putting it in the bottle. Then, I thought....
what if someone found the message in a bottle???
So, I unrolled the letter and wrote, "If found, I pray you have an amazing marriage as I did."
I included my email address so IF the letter was found, I could be notified. How cool would it be for someone to find the message in a bottle 20 years down the road and email me?!?!?!
My message in a bottle.....
I did not want to throw the bottle out to sea from where we were staying on the beach. I thought the tide would wash it back ashore, so we went to a nearby marina, SanRoc Cay. We walked out on the marina at sunset. We did not plan this, but as we were standing there, I realized this was 'our' time of the day. Jamey and I loved watching a beautiful sunset. It was perfect.
Then, I said a little prayer and threw the bottle. I had no idea where it would end up, but I just 'released'.
See!! Perfect time of day!
Such a peaceful site.
After we watched the bottle float, I shed a few tears, we left. I left with a feeling of peace and hoped this was my start to healing.
But, the story does not end there......
The next morning we pulled ourselves out of bed, packed the car, and started our drive home. We were about an hour or so outside of town when I checked my email.
MY MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE WAS FOUND!!!!
I screamed!!!!
I absolutely, in a million years, never dreamed my bottle would be found, much less this soon.
NEVER!
Isn't that crazy!
I received an email from a sweet lady named, Sue. She said she found my message in a bottle!
She said she was at her son's home on Ono Island in Orange Beach. She was walking down to his boat house to see how many shells had washed up overnight. She then saw a bottle that looked like it had a note in it. She climbed down in the water to retrieve it, broke the bottle open, read the letter, and prayed for someone named Tippa.
God led me to a sister in Christ. A sweet prayer warrior that we can never know too many of.
I 'friended' her on Facebook and saw this sweet post.
Her sweet daughter-in-law, Karen, saw Sue's post and shared it...
Later, Karen posted....
I am just in tears and overwhelmed by the outreach of prayers and notes I have received from this sweet, sweet family and their friends. I shared with Sue and Karen that I never dreamed anyone would find the letter, and certainly not this soon. Karen's response took my breath away. She said "God didn't want you to wait another minute to receive these messages and know others care about you and what you are going through."
So true.
I stand in awe of God's mercy and grace. I have been lifted up in prayer by so many friends and stranger-friends that have helped carry me. It leaves me speechless and amazed. What an amazing God we serve.
2 comments:
Wow, just wow that is so awesome! Glad you were able to get some much needed rest!
That is such an amazing experience you had, and how wonderful to see God's hand at work so soon! Thank you for sharing with us. I continue to lift you and Brenna up in prayer.
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